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The Test of Time
A Novel by I. MacPenn

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Dino Fiction: Post your Dinosaur Stories

If you like to write about dinosaurs (or other extinct beasts), let everyone read your work.
Click here to add your story to this page.
Let me know if I get chapters out of order. Also, let me know if you have any suggestions for the format of this page.

Latest work: Chap 3

JOE BOB B.:
THE HISTORY OF D.W.F.

INTRODUCTION

Razorclaw might not be fighting dinosaurs anymore, he has decided to take a little vacation from his little hobby of making belts, wallets, cowboy boots and seatcovers out of T.rex hide and joined up with his old friend Indiana Jones, just so he can try some stimulating work for a change. Indiana, you see, has been on a quest for spinosaurs in Eygpt but he found the going tough so he called up the right guy for the job, good old Razorclaw, whom you have heard about, most likely second handedly from his many jealous competitors. Anyway, back to the story. They ride over the desert in a jeep, but Razorclaw needs a 30 foot trailer to accommodate him. I think that they have spotted a spinosaur fishing on the Nile, but some hunters shot at it with a bazooka, making a big hole in its sail and scaring it away. I haven't heard any more from them, but I'm sure that they'll call me on their cell-phone (Razorclaw insisted that he needed his phone) soon.

PART 1:RAZORCLAW

There's not a lot of additional information on Razorclaw; unless you haven't read my previous work "Razorclaw. " When I met him, I was on a trip to Mongolia with Indiana Jones, after winning one of those "Meet-a-certain-celebrity" contests. We were spelunking in some nearby caves, when we suddenly came face-to-face with Razorclaw! Well, the truth is, both of us jumped at least 3 feet in the air.

Then Razorclaw said "Oh, wait a sec--you're just one of those weird things with fur on their heads--I've seen them before but not this closely." Indiana Jones and I started getting a little bit angry but then decided that it was wise not to fight a creature twice as tall and four times as long as you. After awhile, Razorclaw told us that the cave was his home. He then showed us the living room, which believe it or not, had a big-screen TV attached to a portable generator. "They were both pretty easy to get," said Razorclaw, "all I had to do was roar and the manager of the store was terrified so not only did he give me the portable generator, he gave me the TV as a bonus." He then showed us his wife, Clampjaw, who for a second thought that Razorclaw had brought home something for lunch, until Razorclaw told her that we were visitors.

Razorclaw and I became good friends, and after awhile, he told me that he would let me write his biography. Unfortunately, as most of you know, his biography, "Razorclaw," was not very popular. When Razorclaw saw "DinoWartz" for the first time, he got angry and so did I. So, we decided that we would do a spoof of "Dinowartz," called "DWF." We really didn't expect it to be that popular, and it wasn't. The only ones that liked it were other carnosaurs and coelosaurs (the coelosaurs not including T.rex). However, that did not stop him from being on the cover of the dinosaur version of "Sports Illustrated."

The fame that was foisted on Razorclaw was only surpassed by Sue the T-rex, Michael Jordan running a close third. After doing an endorsement for "Meaties" breakfast cereal, The Razor retired to a quiet life devouring cinaplexes, shopping malls, libraries, and those most tasty indeed apartment complexes.

Razorclaw still keeps in shape by killing T-rexes, but not as many as he used to. He is currently on a vacation to Eygept.

PART 2:SLASHER

Slasher is the more mysterious of the two brothers, mainly because he was only in one of the two DWFs. Unlike Razorclaw, Slasher had a fairly good life, until one day when he was a juvenille and he and his parents were crossing the desert. The incident came to be known as the Utah Grand Melee(the same one Sue-Imperator's parents were killed in), but anyway, here's how it happened. Slasher's parents were in a canyon when they saw some T-imperators. Knowing that the T-imperators were blocking their way, they had to call for help. There were other packs of raptors in the area, but there were also a lot of T-imperators. There were almost 500 raptors, and they all came. Slasher's parents were trampled, but Slasher managed to get to a small cave. He, like Sue-Imperator, was recovered. He had a cave of his own, but once he found out that he had a brother(Slasher was born years after his brother was lost in a storm), he found Razorclaw's cave. (Razorclaw had a wife by then.) When I f! ound Razorclaw and we decided to make a parody of Dino Wartz, Slasher agreed to appear in the second show. Anyway, Slasher is currently trying to get tickets for the next flight to Eygept.

THE END
from JOE BOB B., age 11, Menlo Park, ?, ?; June 18, 2001

DWF3

Okay... So I said DWF was going to stop. Well I was wrong. Don't worry, this will not have T-rex body parts flying around the arena. Instead, it will have the body parts of different dinosaurs flying around. Anyway, here's DWF3.

Joe Bob:Okay, sorry to tell you guys this, but all other arenas are under construction and the other one is too smashed up to use again.

Razorclaw:Oh great. Now we're stuck here at this airport because you didn't make a backup arena and you forgot to buy the tickets!

Slasher:Come on, he did the best he could. He wasn't the one that smashed it upin the first place, anyway.

Razorclaw:So now what are we supposed to do?

Spike:Yeah!

Euoplecephulas:We could catch a flight to Las Vegas...*takes a slurp of his soda*
Spike:Whatever.

Joe Bob: This must be getting pretty boring.

Euoplecephulas:I know, we'll have the fight here!

Spike:Great Idea!*knocks Joe Bob into a cart of See's candy*

Joe Bob:*spits chocolate out of his mouth*Marzipan! I hate marzipan!

*megaraptor pack appears*

Alpha Megaraptor:Attack!

Megaraptor 1: Okay.*charges at Razorclaw*

Razorclaw: Pitiful.*holds his leg out to trip megaraptor 1, megaraptor 1 runs straight into the food court*

Megaraptor 1:Look at all those pretty stars. [CRASH!!!!!!!!!]*gets trapped under an avalanche of plates and pizza boxes*

Joe Bob:Okay, this is getting pretty weird.*cocks his revolver and fires it*

Megaraptor 2:Akkkkkkkk...*dies*

Razorclaw:six cokes, please.

Clerk:Okay, megaraptor guts with that?

Razorclaw:*gulps the cokes down*No thanks.

Joe Bob:But coke makes you hyperactive!

Razorclaw:That's the idea!*starts literally bouncing off the walls and breaks Alpha Megaraptor's spine*

Alpha Megaraptor:Argh!*dies*

Indiana Jones:Let's get out of here!

Joe Bob:Indy?!

Indiana Jones:Yeah. No time to explain! Hurry!

Joe Bob:Okay, now "wierd" is a complete understatement.

*switches to the inside of a plane*

Indy:So anyway, there's this arena that's underground, but you could fight there.

Joe Bob, Razorclaw, Euoplecephulas, Spike:We'll take it.

*switches to the arena*

Announcer:Here are the tag-team champions, Razorclaw and Slasher!

Audience:Yay!! Wohoo!!!!! Go raptors!!!!

Euoplacephulas:Whatever.

Announcer:And here's Spike, the challenger.

Audience:Yay!! Wohoo!!!!!

Joe Bob, Euoplecephulas:Make up your mind!!!

*bell rings*

Spike:*whips Razorclaw and Slasher*

Razorclaw, Slasher:*jump over the tail*

Spike:Hey! You're supposed to be dead! *whips them again*

Razorclaw:Whatever.*jumps over Spike's tail again*

Slasher:This is boring.

Razorclaw:Duh.*rips Spike's stomach open*

Spike:Akkkk!*dies*

Euoplecephulas:Aw, man!

Joe Bob:Now THAT was stupid.

Announcer:Okay, since that fight was so short and stupid, Razorclaw and Slasher will now fight a spinosaurus.

*camera switches to spinosaurus's locker room*

Joe Bob:Hello, Spinosaurus.

Spinosaurus:Whatever.

Joe Bob:How will you try to beat Razorclaw and Slasher?

Spinosaurus:I'll fight them, what did you think I'd do, give them lolly pops out of my Halloween candy bag?

Joe Bob:...

*switches to arena*

Announcer:Once again, here are the champions, Razorclaw and Slasher!

Audience:Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Announcer:And here's Spinosaurus! The same one from JP3!

Audience:...*cricket chirp*

Announcer:And let the fight begin!

Spinosaurus:Rar! I am so scary! *slashes with arms*

Slasher: Let me show you how a real dino slashes!*makes two red lines in Spino's chest*

Spinosaurus:WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! He hurt me! Mommy!!!*runs away crying*

Slasher and Razorclaw:Huh?

Audience:*falls over laughing*

Mike:Now I will bring the best dinosaur in the world, Scutellosaurus!

Scutellosaurus:Rar!

Everyone:*starts laughing again*

Scutellosaurus:Hiya!!*jumps at Razorclaw*

Razorclaw:*does a high kick*

Scutellosaurus:*falls over cross-eyed*

Referee(From inside of closet he locked himself in):Is it over yet? Oh! And the winner is Razorclaw!

Razorclaw:Are we getting stronger or is everyone else getting weaker?

Slasher:Dunno.*shrugs*

Joe Bob:Were out of time, so finish this show before they cut us off-*static*

THE END
from JOE BOB B., age Still 10, Menlo Park, ?, ?; November 2, 2001

Here is the fourth part in the DWF series. This one won't have fighting in an arena, unlike the other ones.

DWF4

PROLOGUE:
It was a dark and stormy night. Actually it was a bright and sunny day, but don't tell anyone that. Indiana Jones could only tell that from looking through the window. He was on top of a pile of crates in an abandoned warehouse used for unknown purposes.

"Boss, I got the DNA, you got the money?" asked a gorilla-like man.
"Yeah," said someone in a trenchcoat, sunglasses, a large hat and a ski mask, "But don't tell them it's counterfiet."
The man with the trenchcoat produced a box and gave it to the gorilla. Indy could see the 9mm. automatic pistols and submachine guns they had holstered, and he had no weapons except his trusty whip. Then he sneezed. Gorilla and Trenchcoat drew their weapons and whipped around.
"Uh oh..."
Fortunately, he was able to dodge the barrage of lead projectiles and spot a light fixture close by. He took out his whip and whipped the light fixture. Then, in true Indy style, he swung from it, going through the window and just barely missing getting hit by another barrage.

Chapter 1:

Razorclaw, Slasher, and Joe Bob looked at a checklist of their non-operational arenas. "Trashed, trashed, under construction, trashed by Biogen..." Joe Bob looked at the card again. "Biogen... Well, not really the company from the book, just a few of Terrofex's members that created another organization." Razorclaw and Slasher looked puzzled.
"Why didn't you tell us this?"said Razorclaw
"What?"
"That there was another organization we had to worry about," said Slasher.
"I didn't know until Indy told me this morning...."

In a laboratory on the other side of town, illegal genetic experiments were being done.
"More T-rex DNA... The creature looks a little too humanoid. We can give it claws later."
A while later, the creation was complete. A scaly but slightly humanoid body, a long tail, A saurian head with serrated teeth, and sharp sickle-claws on its hands and feet.
"Perfect, a rather nasty blend of human, raptor, and tyrannosaur," said Trenchcoat, obviously the boss, "We just make a few more and wait for the right moment to sic them on Joe Bob and his little raptor friends."

END OF CHAPTER 1
from Joe Bob B., age 11, Menlo Park, ?; April 15, 2002

DWF4, Chapter 2

The newly born T-rex/raptor/human creature looked out of the glass tank. He was hungry, He didn't like the tubes sticking into his body, and It didn't like the people staring at him, and most of all he didn't like the "Barney" T-shirt the person at the computer console was wearing.
"I love you, you love me, we're a happy-ACK!!!!" said the unfortunate person at the console.
The the creature kicked through the glass, jumped out and disemboweled him. The pieces of the tubes and shards of glass were pushed out of the creature's skin as the cuts healed up instantly. He was angry now. He wanted to get out, wanted to eat, wanted to kill the person that had stuck tubes in him. Suddenly, a door opened and in rushed three burly security guards with tranq guns and cattle prods.
"Back in yer cage, little feller," said one, zapping the creature.
"Aye, ye kinnot jest escape like that," said another. The creature promptly bit off the first one's head and leapt over the other two.
"Mama mia!" said the third.
"Aye, Let's git oot of here! Me life insurance expired!"
The creature kept going, dodging the gunfire of the other guards. Bullets stung his back, but he didn't notice. Then he saw a ladder going up to the skylight. "Freedom," he thought. He climbed to the top, oblivious to the bullets hitting his back. He kicked through the skylight and leapt into the cool night air. He was free!

END OF CHAPTER 2
from Joe Bob B., age 11, Menlo Park, ?, ?; April 17, 2002

CHAPTER 3

The T.R.H. (T-rex/raptor/human) looked down from the top of the building. There were cars honking and screeching and burning rubber. Not the safest place to be. He then looked at a manhole. Curious, he jumped down and picked it up. There were a lot of tunnels in the sewer below, and he smelled something reptilian. He walked through the tunnels. The smell was getting stronger.

Several other creatures were waiting for him at the end of the tunnel. They had really ugly faces and walked like gorillas, but they were dinosaurs. They, too, smelled their adversary. They, the terroraptors, had once been part of Terrofex, but now they were the last of their species. The TRH walked into the tunnel, and the creatures jumped on him and the fight began. Actually it was pretty short, because the TRH could heal and the terroraptors couldn't. The TRH looked at what was left of the terroraptors, sniffed, and found them most unappetizing.

Joe Bob, Indy, Razorclaw, and Slasher were sitting in the living room watching "Jurassic Park". Suddenly, a window was broken and a ninja somersaulted to his feet. He drew a knife and threw it at them, saying something that would have translated to something like, "May the hairles goats of benihana feast upon your rhubarb patch with the wrath of David Letterman!" Of course, he didn't really speak Japanese too well. His master must have trained him well, though, because he dodged the bullets from Indy's pistol and made another nice hole in the window. (The manager really liked that, too.) "Crap. I missed." (Indy, of course.)

In a Biogen laboratory, trenchcoat was sitting in a big, comfy chair and giving orders. The two security guards that tried to stop the TRH were cringing helplessly before him. "So, You failed to stop my creation. IDIOTS! If you had shot him enough, he would have been knocked out!" Trenchcoat pulled out a pump shotgun and got rid of them. Then the ninja came up to Trenchcoat. "Did you kill them?" The ninja said an expletive in japanese before getting his guts blown out. The shotgun smoked, and then the chief scientist came and kicked the cadavers away. "I have a new project, one that will be much better than the TRH project. These can't regenerate limbs, but they can be controlled." "Is this like the Terroraptor project?" Trenchcoat asked. "No, they are much more deadly." The scientist told his boss how the new creatures could scale walls and change colors. The progect had begun!

END OF CHAPTER 3
from Joe Bob B., age 11, Menlo Park, ?, ?; June 13, 2002

THE ISLAND THAT TIME ALMOST FORGOT (BUT NOT QUITE)

(This is a story that I wrote 2 years ago. When I wrote It, I thought that compsognathus was a raptor. please ignore this mistake.)

To continue, click here.

from JOE BOB B.,

from JOE BOB B., age 10, Menlo Park, ?, ?; February 2, 2001

Razorclaw
Razorclaw

There had been a great storm and a raptor chick had been left behind. It was Utahraptor chick. It had been found by a family of Velociraptors and was raised by them (for some weird reason). The Velociraptors saw how big the Utahraptor chick was when it was full grown and realized that it was not an ordinary Velociraptor chick.

To continue, click here.

from JOE BOB B., age 10, Menlo Park, ?, ?; November 25, 2000

"It is Monday and the jungle is harsh," I write in my journal. Charlie, a man that I do not trust, is preparing his sleeping bag. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a huge pie under his pillow. An hour or two later, I come to check on him. After I open the tent flap, the next thing I see is the red filling of a cherry pie. I lick pie from my face, then, "What did you do that for?!!" I shout angrily. "I didn't know! I thought you were a dinosaur!" he protests.

To continue, click here.

from JOE BOB B., age 10, Menlo Park, California, ?; November 25, 2000

NEWLY DISCOVERED BY PALEONTOLOGISTS: HOMO SAPIENS

I was excited about the new discovery because I am a reporter for the "Raptor Gazette" and I was assigned to interview one of the paleotologists that found the skeleton.

To continue, click here.


from JOE BOB B., age 10, Menlo Park, ?, ?; November 25, 2000

NEWLY DISCOVERED BY PALIENTOLIGISTS:HOMO SAPIENS II

I drove home in my human fossil fueled corvette Alasmasaurus, and on the way I found a sign at a toy store saying,"New human action figures!" and on the internet,I found a site called zoomhumans.com.There was a human craze going on, and I knew it.
from JOE BOB B., age 10, Menlo Park, California, ?; November 26, 2000

D.W.F. DINOSAUR WRESTLING FEDERATION

Well THIS is a surprise! Two dinosaur deathmatch shows in one year! Before we start,we would like to inform you of something,DINO WARTZ IS RIGGED! That's right, and to prove that,we'll show you two NEVER BEFORE SEEN backstage clips caught by security cameras!

To continue, click here.


from JOE BOB B., age 10, Menlo Park, ?, ?; December 13, 2000

D.W.F.2!

Here we are,AGAIN! Its time for another episode of D.W.F! We'll try something else this time,because T-rex fans probably thought that the reason for last episode's outcome was because either the T-rex didn't have both his arms,or the T-rex was a weakling. So to satisfy the T-rex fans we'll have a rematch. To continue, click here.

from JOE BOB B., age 10, Menlo Park, ?, ?; December 24, 2000



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