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Dinosaur Jokes and Riddles

What does a triceratops sit on?
(Its tricera-bottom!)

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
(A dino-snore!)

Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm?
(Because it was an early bird!)

What was T. rex's favorite number?
(Eight!)

Why did the dinosaur get in the bed?
(Because he was tired!)

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
(It was the chicken's day off!)

Receptionist: Doctor, there's an invisible dinosaur in the waiting room.
Doctor: Tell her I can't see her!

What do you call a fossil that doesn't ever want to work?
(Lazy bones!)

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
(Tyrannosaurus wrecks!)

What did the dinosaur say after the car crash?
(I'm-so-saurus!)

What do you call it when a dinosaur makes a goal with a soccer ball?
(A dino-score!)

What do you call a plated dinosaur when he is asleep?
(Stegosnorus!)

What do you call a tyrannosaurus that talks and talks and talks?
(A dinobore!)

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
(Do-ya-think-he-saw-us!)

What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur?
(Long distance!)

Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum?
(Because they can't afford new ones!)

What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur?
(Hello, hello!)

Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch?
(That depends on how fast you carry it!)

Bob: I wish I had enough money to buy a dinosaur.
Donald: What would you do with a dinosaur?
Bob: Who wants a dinosaur? I just want the money!

Sue: I lost my pet dinosaur .
Jake: Why don't you put an ad in the newspaper?
Sue: What good would that do, she can't read!

What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor?
(Dino-sore!)

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
(Because they wouldn't take a bath!)

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
(The chicken hadn't evolved yet!)

What makes more noise than a dinosaur?
(Two dinosaurs!)

What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears?
(Anything you want, it can't hear you!)

What's better than a talking dinosaur?
(A spelling bee!)

What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
(Try-Try-Try-ceratops!)

What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
(Tyrannosaurus wrecks!)

Which dinosaur slept all day?
(The dino-snore!)

What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots?
(Tyrannosaurus tex!)

What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo?
(A Bronco-saurus!)

What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?
(Dino-mite!)

When can three giant dinosaurs get under one umbrella and not get wet?
(When it's not raining!)

Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house?
(Any kind! A house can't jump!)

What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth?
(A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!)

What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur?
(Cheer him up!)

Why don't dinosaurs ever forget?
(Because no one ever tells them anything!)

What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat?
(Anything she wants!)

What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus?
(The strawberry is red!)

Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red?
(So she could hide in the strawberry patch!)

What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch?
(Strawberry jam!)

Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed?
(Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!)

What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed?
(Find somewhere else to sleep!)

Did the dinosaur take a bath?
(Why, is there one missing?!)

How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
(Down in the mouth!)

What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks?
(More than the dinosaur!)

Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down?
(In the dark!)

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road?
(There weren't any roads then!)

What is in the middle of dinosaurs?
(The letter "s"!)

Where do dinosaurs get their mail?
(At the dead-letter office!)

What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing?
(Her shadow!)

What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?
(Out of the way!)

How do you know if there's a dinosaur in your refrigerator?
(Look for footprints in the pizza!)

What happened when the dinosaur took the train home?
(She had to bring it back!)

Mitchell: Why did the Triceratops cross the road?
Robert: He didn't, the chicken crossed the road.
Mitchell: Well, why did the chicken cross the road?
Robert: To get away from the Triceratops!

How do you know if there's a dinosaur under your bed?
(Your nose hits the ceiling!)

Why was the dinosaur afraid of the ocean?
(Because there was something fishy about it!)

What do you call a dinosaur with one leg?
(Eileen!)

Mother: Why are you crying?
Daughter: Because I wanted to get a dinosaur for my baby brother.
Mother: That's no reason to cry.
Daughter: Yes it is! No one would trade me!

What was the scariest prehistoric animal?
(The Terror-dactyl!)

What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels?
(A Stegosaurus on roller skates!)

What do you call it when a dinosaur slides in to home plate?
(A dinoscore!)

What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo?
(A Tricera-hops!)

What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
(Jurassic Pork!)

What family does T. rex belong to?
(I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!)

What made the dinosaur's car stop?
(A flat Tire-annosaurus!)

What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain?
(A Stegosau-rust!)

What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?
(A dino-saw!)

Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes?
(A dino-sewer!)

Which dinosaurs were the best policemen?
(Tricera-cops!)

What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress?
(Rep. Tile!)

Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation?
(To the dino-shore!)

Where did Velociraptor buy things?
(At a dino-store!)

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
(With Tyrannosaurus checks!)

Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory?
(Because she was a plant eater!)

What is an Iguanodon's favorite playground toy?
(A dino-see-saur!)

What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
(A Diplodocus with a sore throat!)

How much fur can you get from a dinosaur?
(As fur as you can get!)

Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat?
(Because they don't know how to cook!)

What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had?
(Baby dinosaurs!)

How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box?
(One. After that, the box isn't empty anymore!)

How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator?
(The door won't close!)

How do you make a dinosaur float?
(Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer and add one dinosaur!)

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