Advertisement.

EnchantedLearning.com is a user-supported site.
As a bonus, site members have access to a banner-ad-free version of the site, with print-friendly pages.
Click here to learn more.

ad
(Already a member? Click here.)



Rhymes
EnchantedLearning.com
Jokes and Riddles for Kids

Pick a topic and read all the hilarious, corny jokes you'll ever need.
Click Here for
K-3 Themes
All Body Circus Clothes Colors Doctor and Dentist Farm Food House Knock-Knock Jokes Math Monster Money Music Pirate Plants School Space Sports Time USA Vehicle Weather Misc.
All Animals Bear Bird Bug and Insect Cat Chicken Cow Dinosaur Dog Duck Egg Elephant Fish Frog Horse Monkey Mouse Owl Penguin Pig Rabbit Snake Turkey Misc. Animals
All Holiday Jokes Halloween St. Patrick's Day Thanksgiving
turkey Holiday Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes:
Why didn't the mummy have any friends?
(Because he was wrapped up in himself!)

What road has the most ghosts haunting it?
(A dead end!)

Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
(Because people are dying to get in!)

What do ghosts eat on Halloween?
(Ghoulash!)

Where do ghosts go when they're sick?
(To the witch doctor!)

What position does a ghost play in soccer?
(Ghoulie!)

What are a ghost's favorite pants?
(Boo jeans!)

What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
(Prank-enstein!)

What room is useless for a ghost?
(A living room!)

What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
(Fish and ships!)

What did the skeleton order for dinner?
(Spare ribs!)

What do you call a skeleton who won't work?
(Lazy bones!)

What's a monster's favorite place to swim?
(Lake Eerie!)

How do you make a skeleton laugh?
(Tickle her funny bone!)

Where should a 500 pound monster go?
(On a diet!)

Why did the vampire get thrown out of the haunted house?
(Because he was a pain in the neck!)

What did Dracula say about his girlfriend?
(It was love at first bite!)

Why did the vampire flunk art class?
(Because he could only draw blood!)

What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
(A blood test!)

What's the problem with twin witches?
(You can't tell which witch is which!)

Why do witches fly on brooms?
(Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!)

What do you call witches who live together?
(Broom-mates!)

What do you do with a green monster?
(Wait until she's ripe!)

What do witches ask for at hotels?
(Broom service!)

What do little monsters eat?
(Alpha-bat soup!)

What do ghosts use to clean their hair?
(Sham-boo!)

Why didn't the zombie go to school?
(He felt rotten!)

Why did the cyclops stop teaching?
(Because he only had one pupil!)

Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
(Because there are so many plots there!)

Why are graveyards noisy?
(Because of all the coffin!)

What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?
(Straw-berries!)

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
(Because he was out standing in his field!)

What do witches put on their bagels?
(Scream cheese!)

Why are vampires tough to get along with?
(Because they can be a pain in the neck!)

Do you know how to make a witch itch?
(You take away the w!)

Where does Dracula keep his money?
(In a blood bank!)

What subject in school is easy for a witch?
(Spell-ing!)

How does a witch tell time?
(With a witch watch!)

Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
(Because he couldn't find any body to go with him!)

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
(No body!)

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
(Dayscare!)

What do ghosts like for dessert?
(I scream!)

What's a monster's favorite play?
(Romeo and Ghouliet!)

What do witches put on their hair?
(Scare spray!)

What's a haunted chicken?
(A poultry-geist!)

How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?
(With a pumpkin patch!)

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
(Pumpkin pi!)

What breed of dog does Dracula have?
(A bloodhound!)

What's big, scary, and has three wheels?
(A monster riding a tricycle!)

Which witch is good when it's dark?
(A lights-witch!)

What's the best way to talk to a monster?
(From afar!)

What should you do if you're attacked by a group of clowns?
(Go for the juggler/jugular!)

What animal is best at baseball?
(A bat!)

Which circus performers can see in the dark?
(The acro-bats!)

Why don't bats live alone?
(They like to hang out with their friends!)

What animal is good at cricket?
(A bat!)

What happened to the cannibal who was late to dinner?
(They gave her the cold shoulder!)

St. Patrick's Day Jokes:
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
(Real rocks are too heavy!)

Why can't you iron a four-leaf clover?
(Because you shouldn't press your luck!)

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
(A sham-rock!)

What type of bow cannot be tied?
(A rain-bow!)

Where can you always find gold?
(In the dictionary!)

Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day?
(Because they're already wearing green!)

Why did the elephant wear green sneakers?
(Her red ones were in the wash!)

What did the leprechaun do for a living?
(He was a short-order cook!)

How can you tell if a leprechaun is having a good time?
(He is Dublin over with laughter!)

What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
(He gets wet!)

What is Irish and left out on the lawn all summer?
(Paddy O'Furniture!)

Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
(He couldn't afford plane fare!)

When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?
(When it's a French fry!)

What do you call a diseased criminal?
(A leper-con!)

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
(Because they're always a little short!)

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Irish!
Irish Who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day.

Thanksgiving Jokes:
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
(Because he was out standing in his field!)

What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?
(Straw-berries!)

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
(Pilgrims!)

What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
(Your nose!)

What always comes at the beginning of parades?
(The letter "p"!)

What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
(A har-vest!)

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
(Their age!)

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
(Pumpkin pi!)

What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
(The letter "g"!)

What key won't open any door?
(A turkey!)

Why did the turkey cross the road?
(It was the chicken's day off!)

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
(It was stuck on the turkey's foot!)

Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
(To prove he wasn't chicken!)

What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on top of a barn?
(An eggroll!)

Where do you find a turkey with no legs?
(Exactly where you left it!)

What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
(Foul weather!)

Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
(To hatchet!)

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
(They suspected it of fowl play!)

Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?
(The outside!)

Why do turkeys lay eggs?
(If they dropped them, they'd break!)

What's the most musical part of a turkey?
(The drumstick!)

If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?
(A poul-tree!)

Daughter: Mum, can I have a canary for Christmas?
Mum: NO! You'll have turkey like everyone else.

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
(He got the stuffing knocked out of him!)

What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
(The turkey!)

Related Activities:


Holiday Theme Page

Activities and worksheets about many holidays.

Click Here for K-3 Themes
All Themes Animals Food People Plants Sports Time and Calendar Holidays
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
A, Long A, Short A
All About Me
Alligators, Crocodiles
Alphabet, Letters
Animals
Apples
April Fool's Day
Arbor Day
ASL
Astronomy
B
Balloons
Baseball
Bats
Beach
Bears
Bedtime
Bees
Birds
Birthday
Blends
Boats
Body
Bones, Skeletons
Butterflies
C
Calendars
Camping
Canada Day
Categorizing
Cats
Chickens
China
Chinese New Year
Christmas
Cinco de Mayo
Circus
Classifying
Clothing
Colors
Columbus Day
Community Helpers
Compare and Contrast
Computer Terms
Containers
Cows
D
Day of the Dead
Dinosaurs
Dogs
Dolch Words
Dolphins
Dragons
Drawing
Ducks
Dutch Language
E, Long E, Short E
Earth Day
Easter
Eggs
Elections
Elephants
Emancipation Day
Emotions
Energy
F
Fact or Opinion
Fall
Family
Farm
Father's Day
Favorites
Feelings
Firetrucks, Firefighters
Fish
Flag Day
Flowers
Follow Instructions
Food
French Language
Friends
Frogs
Fruit, Vegetables
Furniture
G
Geography
German Language
Giraffes
Grandparent's Day
Groundhog Day
H
Halloween
Hanukkah
Happiness
Hebrew
Holidays
Homes/Dwellings
Horses
Human Body
Hundred Days of School
I, Long I, Short I
Ice Cream
Independence Day
Insects
In The Sky
Italian Language
J
Japan
Jobs
July 4th
Juneteenth
K
Kangaroo
Kings, Queens, Castles
Koalas
Kwanzaa
L
Labor Day
Ladybugs
Leaf
Left and Right
Letters of the Alphabet
M
Mammals
Martin Luther King Day
Memorial Day
Mice and Rats
Military
Money
Monkeys
Moon
Mother's Day
Music
N
Names
Newspaper
New Year's Day
Numbers
O, Long O, Short O
Oceans/Seas
Occupations
One Hundred Days of School
Opposites
Owls
P
Pandas
Penguins
People and Community
Pets
Pigs
Pirate
Pizza
Plants
Portuguese
President's Day
Pumpkins
Q
R
Rabbits
Rainbow
Reindeer
Right and Left
Robots
Rocks
Rodeo
Russia
S
Scarecrows
School
Seasons
Senses
Seuss
Sewing
Shapes
Sharks
In The Sky
Snow
Sorting
Spanish Language
Spelling
Spiders
Sports
Spring
Stars
Stories
St. Patrick's Day
Summer
Sun
Swedish Language
Symbols
Symmetry
Synonyms
T
Teeth
Thanksgiving
Time
Tools
Toys
Transportation
Travel & Vacation
Trees
Turkeys
U, Long U, Short U
V
Vacation
Valentine's Day
Vehicles
Veteran's Day
W
Water
Weather
Whales, Dolphins
Winter
Witches, Magic
X
Y
Z


Enchanted Learning®
Over 35,000 Web Pages
Sample Pages for Prospective Subscribers, or click below

Overview of Site
What's New
Enchanted Learning Home
Monthly Activity Calendar
Books to Print
Site Index

K-3
Crafts
K-3 Themes
Little Explorers
Picture dictionary
PreK/K Activities
Rebus Rhymes
Stories
Writing
Cloze Activities
Essay Topics
Newspaper
Writing Activities
Parts of Speech

Fiction
The Test of Time

Biology
Animal Printouts
Biology Label Printouts
Biomes
Birds
Butterflies
Dinosaurs
Food Chain
Human Anatomy
Mammals
Plants
Rainforests
Sharks
Whales
Physical Sciences: K-12
Astronomy
The Earth
Geology
Hurricanes
Landforms
Oceans
Tsunami
Volcano
Languages
Dutch
French
German
Italian
Japanese (Romaji)
Portuguese
Spanish
Swedish
Geography/History
Explorers
Flags
Geography
Inventors
US History

Other Topics
Art and Artists
Calendars
College Finder
Crafts
Graphic Organizers
Label Me! Printouts
Math
Music
Word Wheels

Click to read our Privacy Policy

E-mail


Enchanted Learning Search

Search the Enchanted Learning website for:



Advertisement.

Advertisement.


Copyright ©2012-2018 EnchantedLearning.com ------ How to cite a web page