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ZoomDinosaurs.com
 HA HA HA! |
DINOSAUR
JOKES! |
HA HA HA! |
 |
Q: Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm? 
A: Because it was an early bird!
Thanks to Colin W., Palaeobiology undergraduate, John Moores, Liverpool, UK
Q: What was T. rex's 
favorite number?
A: Eight! (ate)
Thanks to Haley, Age 6, Anchorage, Alaska, USA
Q: Why did the dinosaur get in the bed 
?
A: Because he was tired!
Thanks to Sarah, Age 6, Anchorage, Alaska, USA
Q: Why did the dinosaur 
cross the road 
?
A: It was the chicken's day off!! 
Thanks to Courtney T., Age 10,
Port Moody, B.C., Canada
Receptionist: Doctor, there's an invisible dinosaur in the waiting room.
Doctor: Tell her I can't see her!
Q: What do you call a fossil that doesn't ever want to work?
A: Lazy bones!
Q: What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars 
?
A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks !
Q: What did the dinosaur say after the car crash ?
A: I'msosaurus 
Thanks to Haley F.
Q: What do you call it when a dinosaur makes a goal with a soccer ball?
A: A dino-score!
Thanks to Brandon B., Georgia, USA, 12 years old
Q: What do you call a plated dinosaur when he is asleep? ?
A: Stegosnorus 
!
Thanks to Marcel B.
Q: What do you call a tyrannosaurus that talks and talks and talks ...? 
?
A: A dinobore!
Thanks to Marcel B.
Q: What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes? 
?
A: Doyathinkysaurus! (Do you think he saw us)
Thanks to Hannah D., 9 years old, Manchester, England
Q: What does a Triceratops sit on?
A: Its Tricera-bottom.
Q: What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ?
A: Long distance!
Q: Why are there old dinosaur bones 
in the museum?
A: Because they can't afford new ones!
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur?
A: Hello, hello!
Q: Is it true that a dinosaur 
won't attack if you hold a tree branch?
A: That depends on how fast you carry it!
Antal: I wish I had enough money 
to buy a dinosaur .
Donald: What would you do with a dinosaur ?
Antal: Who wants a dinosaur ? I just want the money !
Elias: I lost my pet dinosaur .
Donald: Why don't you put an ad in the newspaper 
?
Elias: What good would that do, she can't read!
Q: What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor?
A: Dino-sore!
Q: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
A: Because they wouldn't take a bath 
!
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road ?
A: The chicken hadn't evolved yet! .
Q: What makes more noise than a dinosaur 
?
A: Two dinosaurs !
Q: What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots 
in its ears 
?
A: Anything you want, it can't hear you!
Q: What's better than a talking dinosaur 
?
A: A spelling bee 
!
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: Try-Try-Try-ceratops !
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks !
Q: Which dinosaur slept all day ?
A: The dino-snore!
Q: What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots 
?
A: Tyrannosaurus tex!
Q: What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo?
A: A Bronco-saurus 
!
Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks? 
A: DINOMITE!
Thanks to
Kellen, age 6, Oregon, USA
Q: When can three giant dinosaurs 
get under an umbrella 
and not get wet?
A: When it's not raining!
Q: Which type of dinosaur 
could jump higher than a house 
?
A: Any kind! A house can't jump!
Q: What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ?
A: A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
Q: What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur 
?
A: Cheer him up!
Q: Why don't dinosaurs 
ever forget?
A: Because no one ever tells them anything!
Q: What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat?
A: Anything she wants!
Q: What's the difference between a strawberry 
and a Tyrannosaurus ?
A: The strawberry is red!
Q: Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red?
A: So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
Q: What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch?
A: Strawberry jam 
!
Q: What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ?
A: Find somewhere else to sleep!
Q: Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed?
A: Exactly the same as short dinosaurs !
Q: What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur 
tricks?
A: More than the dinosaur !
Q: How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
A: Down 
in the mouth !
Q: Where was the dinosaur when the sun 
went down 
?
A: In the dark!
Q: What was the scariest prehistoric animal?
A: The Terror-dactyl 
!
Q: What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels?
A: A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
Q: What do you call it when a dinosaur slides in to home plate?
A: A dinoscore! 
(thanks to Mark Alden R.)
Q: What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo 
?
A: A Tricera-hops!
Q: What do you get if you cross a pig 
with a dinosaur ?
A: Jurassic Pork!
Q: What family does Maiasaur belong to?
A: I don't think any families in our neighborhood 
have one!
Q: What made the dinosaur's car stop 
?
A: A flat Tire-annosaurus !
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain 
?
A: A Stegosau-rust !
Q: What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?
A: A dino-saw 
!
Q: Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes 
?
A: A dino-sewer 
!
Q: Which dinosaurs were the best policemen?
A: Tricera-cops !
Q: What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress?
A: Rep. Tile!
Q: Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation?
A: To the dino-shore 
!
Q: Where did Velociraptor buy things?
A: At a dino-store!
Q: How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
A: With Tyrannosaurus checks 
!
Q: Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory?
A: Because she was a plant eater!
Q: What is an Iguanodon's favorite playground toy?
A: A dino-see-saur 
!
Q: What's worse than a giraffe 
with a sore throat?
A: A Diplodocus 
with a sore throat!
Q: How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ?
A: As fur as you can get!
Q: Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat?
A: Because they don't know how to cook 
!
Q: What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had?
A: Baby dinosaurs!
Q: How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box 
?
A: One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
Q: How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator 
?
A: The door won't close!
Q: How do you make a dinosaur float?
A: Put a scoop of ice cream 
in a glass of root beer and add one dinosaur !
Q: Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road?
A: There weren't any roads then!
Thanks to
Chris D.,
Age 10,
St. Albert, Alberta, Canada
Q: Did the dinosaur take a bath ?
A: Why, is there one missing?
Q: What is in the middle of dinosaurs ?
A: The letter "s"!
Q: Where do dinosaurs get their mail 
?
A: At the dead-letter 
office!
Q: What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing?
A: Her shadow!
Q: What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?
A: Out of the way!
Q: How do you know if there's a dinosaur in your refrigerator ?
A: Look for footprints in the pizza 
!
Q: What happened when the dinosaur took the train 
home?
A: She had to bring it back!
Mitchell: Why did the Triceratops cross the road ?
Robert: He didn't, the chicken crossed the road .
Mitchell: Well, why did the chicken cross the road ?
Robert: To get away from the Triceratops !
Q: How do you know if there's a dinosaur under your bed ?
A: Your nose 
hits the ceiling!
Q: Why was the dinosaur afraid of the ocean ?
A: Because there was something fishy 
about it!
Q: What do you call a Stegoceras with one leg?
A: Eileen (I lean)!
Mother: Why are you crying?
Daughter: Because I wanted to get a dinosaur for my baby brother 
.
Mother: That's no reason to cry.
Daughter: Yes it is! No one would trade me!
Many thanks to Antal, the joke-meister!
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