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Circus Jokes and Riddles

Which circus performers can see in the dark? (The acro-bats!) Did you hear about the human cannonball? (He got fired!) Did you hear about the fire at the circus? (The heat was in-tents!)

What happened to the elephant who ran away with the circus? (The police made him bring it back!) What happened when the magician got mad? (She pulled her hare out!) What happened when the short fortune-teller who escaped from prison? (She was a small medium at large!)

Clown Jokes:

Why did the clown go to the doctor? (Because he was feeling a little funny!) Why did the clown throw his clock out of the window? He wanted to see time fly!) What should you do if you're attacked by a group of clowns? (Go for the juggler/jugular!) Why did the clown wear loud socks! (So his feet wouldn't fall asleep!) I'd like to take over the clown's job! (Those are big shoes to fill!)

Why was the clown sad? (She broke her funny bone!) Why don't cannibals eat clowns (Because they taste funny!) Why did the clown cross the road? (To get his rubber chicken!) What happened when the lion ate the clown? (He felt funny!) Why material do you use to make a clown outfit? (Poly-jester!) What is the pink goo between an elephant's toes? (Slow clowns!)

Elephant Jokes:

How do elephants talk to each other long distance? (On the elephone!) What do you do when you find a blue elephant? (Cheer her up!) What time is it when you find an elephant in your car? (Time to get a new car!) How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed? (Your head hits the ceiling!) What time is it when 10 elephants are chasing you? (Ten to one!) How do you stop an elephant from charging? (Take away her credit card!) What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish? (Swimming trunks!) What's an elephant's favorite vegetable? (Squash!) Why are elephants so poor? (Because they work for peanuts!) What is the biggest ant in the world? (An elephant!) What does a doctor give an elephant who's going to be sick? (Plenty of room!) What's big and grey and protects you from the rain? (An umbrellaphant!) What do you do with a green elephant? (Wait till it ripens!)

How do you get down off an elephant? (You don't, you get down off a duck!) What game do you NOT want to play with an elephant? (Squash!) What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball? (You get out of the way!) How do you know if there is a elephant in your refrigerator? (The door won't shut!) How do you know if there's a elephant in your refrigerator? (Look for footprints in the pizza!) How do you raise a baby elephant? (With a fork lift!) Why are elephants so wrinkled? (They take too long to iron!) What is gray and blue and very big? (An elephant holding it's breath!) What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? (Time to get a new watch!) Why did the elephant wear green sneakers? (Her red ones were in the wash!) What happened to the elephant who ran away with the circus? (The police made him bring it back!) Why do you call an elephant in a phone booth? (Stuck!)

Monkey Jokes:

What kind of a key opens a banana? (A monkey!) Why did the monkey like the banana? (Because it had appeal!) What did the banana say to the monkey? (Nothing, bananas can't talk!) What do monkeys do for laughs? (They tell jokes about people!) What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear? (Anything you want, it can't hear you!) What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail? (It won't be long now.) Where should a monkey go when he loses his tail? (To a retailer!) Why don't monkeys play cards in the jungle? (There are too many cheetahs there!)

Why did the giant ape climbe up the side of the skyscraper? (The elevator was broken!) Where do chimps get their gossip? (On the ape vine!) What key won't open any door? (A monkey!) How do you catch a monkey? (Climb a tree and act like a banana!) How do monkeys get down the stairs? (They slide down the banana-ster!) Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit? (Anywhere it wants!) What do you call a 2,000 pound gorilla? (Sir!) Jake: I taught my monkey to play chess. Amy: She must be very smart. Jake: Not really, I beat her two games out of three!

Related Activities:

Circus Theme Page Activities and worksheets about the circus.

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