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Doctor and Dentist Jokes and Riddles

Why did the house go to the doctor? (Because it had a window pane/pain!) What's the best time to go to the dentist? (Two thirty/hurty!) What does a dentist call his X-rays? (Tooth-pics!) What does a sick lemon need? (Lemon aid!) Why did the clown go to the doctor? (Because he was feeling a little funny!) Why did the banana go to the doctor? (Because it wasn't peeling well!) Patient: I think I'm a pair of curtains! Doctor: Pull yourself together! Patient: I feel like a pack of cards! Doctor: I'll deal with you later! Patient: I think I'm a needle! Doctor: Yes, I can see your point! What's white, furry, and shaped like a tooth? (A molar bear!) What does a doctor give an elephant who's going to be sick? (Plenty of room!) What do you call a diseased criminal? (A leper-con!) Why didn't the girl tell the doctor that she ate some glue? (Her lips were sealed!)

Why did the bee go to the doctor? (Because she had hives!) What do you give a sick bird? (Tweet-ment) What do you give a sick pig? (Oink-ment) What did the doctor give the sick snake? (Asp-irin!) How does a frog feel when she has a broken leg? (Unhoppy!) Where do ghosts go when they're sick? (To the witch doctor!) Old doctors never die, they just lose their patience! Patient: I swallowed a lot of food coloring. Doctor: You'll be okay. Patient: But I feel like I've dyed a little inside! Patient: I feel like everyone is ignoring me. Doctor: Next! Patient: I think I'm losing my memory. Doctor: When did it start? Patient: When did what start? Patient: Doctor, I feel like a pony! Doctor: Don't worry, you're just a little hoarse! Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses! Waiter: You certainly do, this is a restaurant!

Related Activities:

Tooth and Dentist Theme Page Activities and worksheets about teeth and going to the dentist.

Toothy Riddle: Add, then Decode the Riddle Solve the addition problems, then use the alphabet code to solve the toothy riddle, "What has many teeth but cannot eat?" Answer: "A comb." Or go to the answer page.

Dentist Appointment Joke: Divide, then Decode the Riddle Solve the division problems, then use the alphabet code to decode the answer to the dentist riddle, "What is the best time for a dentist appointment?" (Answer = Two thirty). Or go to the answer page.

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